Why I'm Worried

Hi again! I want to share the worrisome thoughts that have been going around and around in my head....I'm sure many other adoptive parents are feeling the same way. Often I feel better about things by writing them all down, so I hope this will help. It will also let our friends and family know what's going on (sometimes it gets so hard to tell people what's going on when they ask--it's long and complicated, and just sad!).

See the previous post for one of the major reasons I'm worried. By itself, it wouldn't be horribly disturbing. Yes, we will be waiting longer to get our baby (the waiting is so tough) and our baby will be spending more time in an institution (which is bad in many ways for the baby--too many to mention here). But this problem, in conjunction with another problem, is what makes everything so scary! I started talking about it in my late January posts.

The other problem: The Vietnamese and US governments have an agreement called the Memorandum of Understanding--it's essentially an agreement saying that international adoption may occur between the two countries. This agreement will expire on September 1st of 2008 unless both countries indicate in writing that they want it to continue. No one knows if the two governments are going to sign the agreement. There is lots of tension between the two governments because of the Visa denials, possible unethical situations occurring in Vietnam, and the fact that Vietnam has never published the fee schedule they were required to under this agreement (basically itemizing exactly what they're doing with the money from adoptive parents).

If the agreement is not signed, no one knows what will happen with adoptions in progress. We will surely have a referral by September, but may not have gotten to complete the adoption by then because the US government has gotten so slow in approving the Visas for the babies (what used to take 1-2 weeks is now taking at least 2-3 months). What if we get our referral picture and information and were falling in love with the little guy and then we never got to adopt him? It would be heart-wrenching. Not to mention the fact that we've spent so much money on this adoption it would be pretty difficult for us to start another one.

And finally, there is yet another problem. Because of the possibility that adoptions will no longer continue after September 1st, many other waiting parents with our agency have switched their request for "a girl only" to "either a boy or a girl" because the girl waiting list was so long they knew that they probably wouldn't get to finish their adoption before September 1st (not that I blame them, I might have done the same thing). However, this has put us WAY farther back in line. In December, we were #11 for a boy (and at that time I think there were about 35 people in line for a girl). Now after months and quite a few referrals, I think we're still about in the same position. If no one had "switched,' we probably would already have gotten our referral and would easily finish the adoption by September 1st.

Now we're hoping for an April referral, which will cut it REALLY close for us getting to finish the adoption by September 1st (there is at least another month or two of paperwork in addition to the Visa process). No room for error at all.

So...that's what's happening! Cross your fingers for a speedy referral and a speedy Visa approval. Consider writing your Congressmen (see sample letters on www.bringourchildrenhome.org) to ask them to help speed up the Visa process. And pray that the Memo of Understanding will be signed. There are so many orphans in Vietnam that need loving homes.

Good grief....no one is going to want to read my posts....they are getting so long!